Escaping Escapism: My Journey with Maladaptive Daydreaming and Faith
I’ve always struggled with this—even before I knew it had a name.
Maladaptive daydreaming is when you hide in your mind from the outside world. You build entire universes in your head, like something out of Inception, and disappear into them for hours.
Maybe you’re the actor being interviewed. The superhero saving the day. The famous YouTuber reviewing a product. Or maybe you’re finally standing up to the bully at work.
And sometimes, you’re muttering to yourself in public, lost in the scene, while people glance over wondering what’s going on. And to be clear, it’s not just a bad habit – it’s often rooted in trauma. For many of us, it started as a way to survive the pain we couldn’t process as kids.
I didn’t realize how much this was costing me until I looked up and saw that life had passed me by. Goals unmet. Milestones missed. Years lost.
That’s when I knew: I needed to break free. And I couldn’t do it alone—I needed the Lord’s help.
The Spiritual Battle
I thought fasting would be the fix. A one-and-done solution to break the addiction. And in some ways, it helped—but not in the way I expected.
I tried. Really tried.
Eight-hour fasts, day after day. Bible open, phone in another room, just water and the Word. I’d sit down determined to read, but by the fourth sentence, I’d drift.
One moment I was in Scripture. The next, I was deep inside a world I’d built. I’d lose an hour. Sometimes two. And when I came back to myself, I hadn’t moved. Hadn’t progressed. Hadn’t even remembered what I’d read.
I’d whisper a quick apology to God, frustrated and ashamed. Then I’d rush through the passage, trying to salvage the moment. But the discouragement would creep in. I’d reach for my phone, scroll through social media for an hour, and tell myself, “Well, you gave it a shot. Maybe tomorrow will be better.”
I wanted to be free, but I was still feeding the very thing I prayed against. God wasn’t withholding help. I just wasn’t ready to be practical.
Media as Fuel
My daydreams weren’t random—they were being fed.
Fed by the shows I watched. The drama on YouTube. The heartbreak stories on Instagram.
Not every piece of media triggered me, but the ones that did? They became fuel for the fantasy worlds I escaped into.
I’d quote 2 Corinthians 10—“take every thought captive”—but my hands were still wrapped around the content that kept me captive.
I’m not saying the Word doesn’t work. I’m saying you can’t ask God to set you free while keeping both hands wrapped around the chains.
God was ready to help—but I had to be ready to let go.
The Purge
I had to starve the beast. Gideon had to do the same. Before God used him to deliver Israel, He told Gideon to tear down his father’s altar to Baal and cut down the Asherah pole beside it (Judges 6:25–27). Israel couldn’t cling to their idols and still walk in freedom—and neither could I.
That’s why I started cutting off the shows, the channels, the endless fuel for my fantasies.
Clicking “Not Interested” on Instagram posts that triggered me.
Unsubscribing from YouTube channels that kept me stuck in fantasy mode.
I confused the algorithm so badly, it started recommending me cat videos. I don’t even own a cat.
And then came the wrestling.
Don’t judge me, but I was obsessed with WWE.
I watched every show, every premium event.
Then I got bored. Frustrated.
I stopped watching the matches and started watching critics tear the brand apart.
Every time I prayed, I’d get the same message: “Cut it off.”
And I’d see an image of wrestling in my head.
So I did.
I deleted every related search.
Blocked every channel.
Refused to click on anything that even mentioned it.
The Aftermath: Time Returns
Once I started cutting off the triggers—muting, blocking, deleting—I noticed something strange.
I had time.
Like, actual time.
Time to think. Time to breathe. Time to write down recipes I found online (which might sound silly, but I hadn’t cooked for myself in years—so yes, that was a breakthrough).
Compared to five years ago, the time I spend daydreaming has dropped by at least 85%.
That’s not a small win. That’s massive.
I don’t spiral into delusions anymore.
And while it might sound odd, it takes me less time to read the Word now.
Not because I’m rushing—but because I’m not constantly drifting off mid-passage.
And here’s the part that surprised me most:
Time isn’t tangible. You can’t hold it, measure it, or see it.
But after the purge, it felt almost physical—like something I could touch.
I could feel the weight of it in my hands.
I could sense the space it created in my day.
It was like God had handed me back something I didn’t even know I’d lost.
So… Where Am I Now?
I’m still recovering.
I still have days where my mind wanders.
I still need to fast, to reset, to refocus.
But I’m no longer stuck.
I’m no longer hiding.
And if you’re reading this—if you’ve felt trapped in your own head, ashamed of how much time you’ve lost—I want you to know:
You’re not screwed.
You’re not alone.
And you’re not beyond help.
God doesn’t shame the scattered soul.
He meets us in the mess.
He walks with us through the purge.
And He gently invites us back to presence.
Reflection & Prayer
This is the part where you need to reflect on what to cut off from your life.
What is feeding that beast called maladaptive daydreaming?
What shows, accounts, conversations, or habits are keeping you stuck in fantasy instead of presence?
What are you still holding onto while asking God to set you free?
Take a moment.
Write it down.
Name it.
And ask God what needs to go.
You don’t have to purge everything overnight.
But you do need to start.
Freedom begins with honesty—and honesty begins with surrender.
Download this free reflection card:
Use it during prayer, journaling, or quiet time to name what’s feeding your daydreams and invite God into your healing.
Prayer for the Scattered Soul
Lord,
I’ve spent so much time hiding in my own head.
Escaping reality instead of coming to You for help.
Running from adversity instead of facing it with You by my side.
I’ve isolated myself in imaginary worlds when what I really needed was Your presence.I know You’re not angry with me.
I know You see the pain behind the fantasy.
You understand the ache that made me retreat.Help me name what’s feeding the beast.
Help me cut it off, even when it’s hard.
Give me grace for the days I drift.
Give me strength to stay present.And remind me that You’re not waiting for perfection—
You’re walking with me through the purge.Thank You for giving me back my time.
Help me use it well.
Amen.
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2 thoughts on “Escaping Escapism: My Journey with Maladaptive Daydreaming and Faith”
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Thank you for posting this. My breakthrough came from this scripture, James 1:5: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
Good read, can relate to this. Thank you for posting 🙂 🙏🙏