Is Prayer Supposed to Be Performative?
One Sunday after church, a few of us were headed to a busy shopping centre. As we stepped off the bus, I asked a woman I’d known for some time if she could pray for me. I was in a strange season, questioning where the Father was leading me—or if He even had a plan—and I thought maybe her prayer might bring clarity. She was older in the faith, so I assumed she’d “hear from the Holy Spirit” and hand me the answer I needed (I was young, please don’t judge me!). But instead of waiting until we were somewhere private, she placed her hands on me right there at the bus stop, closed her eyes, and started praying aloud while people walked past. Do I remember her words? Not at all. I was too busy feeling embarrassed and confused as to why she was praying so loud at a busy bus stop. When she finished, I muttered a meek “thank you” and RAN.
I recount this story not to look back and judge my fellow church‑goer — not at all! I had always been fond of her, and praying out loud isn’t a bad thing; Jesus did in John 17, as did the Apostles in the Book of Acts (Acts 8:15; 16:25; 20:36). I bring this story up because, for some reason, certain Christian spaces have taught believers that prayer is a performance… which is exactly what the Pharisees did. And that mindset might have scared some of you from praying in church or even going back, because you don’t “do that.” You don’t want to pray out loud in front of an audience — you just want a talk with God.
That’s okay! In fact, it’s exactly what He wants: “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me” (Revelation 3:20). This is the language of invitation and presence — God seeking to be with you, not to watch you perform.
The Father doesn’t require you to only pray in public, He can meet you in the most quiet places. In fact Jesus advises believers to do just that… “But when you pray, go into your most private room, close the door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees [what is done] in secret will reward you.” (Matthew 6:6). This isn’t hiding from God’s people; it’s leaning into God’s presence without distraction.
It’s easy to forget that prayer was never meant to be a stage. Jesus Himself warned against praying “to be seen by others” (Matthew 6:5), not because public prayer is wrong, but because the heart can so easily shift from God‑ward to audience‑ward. When we start thinking about how our words sound, we risk losing sight of Who we’re speaking to. Whether you’re in front of a crowd or completely alone, you don’t have to perform for God — He’s after your heart, not your presentation. “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you” (Jeremiah 29:12). Notice He doesn’t add any extra steps or conditions — no requirement to be loud, polished, or impressive. And yet, in many churches — especially large or high‑profile ones — we often see prayer modelled as a kind of performance: loud, elaborate, and filled with complex phrases that can make it seem like this is the “normal” or “better” way to pray. Sadly, we rarely see well‑known or “celebrity” Christians simply pray in a quiet, ordinary way. But the truth is, God is just as present in the whispered, stumbling prayer as in the booming, polished one.
Prayer is not an audition for God’s approval — you already have that in Christ. It’s not a competition for the most poetic phrases or the deepest theology. The tax collector in Luke 18 barely managed a sentence: “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” And yet Jesus said he went home justified, not the eloquent Pharisee.
When we strip away the pressure to perform, prayer becomes what it was always meant to be: a conversation with the One who knows us fully and loves us still. It can happen in the car, in the kitchen, in the middle of a sleepless night. It can be whispered, groaned, or even silent — because God hears the heart before the lips ever move.
And here’s the beautiful thing: the more we pray this way, the more we realise we’re not trying to “get it right.” We’re simply showing up. And that’s enough.
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PAUSE & REFLECT
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Take a few quiet minutes with these questions.
You might jot your answers in a journal, talk them through
with a friend, or simply sit with them in prayer.
- How might your view of prayer change if you saw it less as a stage and more as a shared table with God?
- If no one else could hear you pray, what would you say to God that you’ve been holding back?
Father, thank You that You see me in the quiet and know my heart before I speak a word. Teach me to come to You without fear of performance, without the need to impress, and with the confidence that You delight in my presence. Draw me into the secret place where I can hear Your voice and rest in Your love. Amen.
Next up: If you’ve ever thought, “I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” you’re not alone. My next post, How to Start Praying, will give you gentle, practical steps to take that first conversation with God.
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This was timely and deep. Thank you Jesus 🙏🙏